T.P.C.E.O.S.
Who am I?
My name is Tien Pham, 22 years old, and I will turn 23 in March 2023. As an Aries, I present the Fire sign that is passionate, energetic, and born to lead and innovate. On the other hand, I am a lone wolf and pretty stubborn, which builds up a ton of barriers. For this reason, I have to learn how to conquer my excessive fiery energy because it might be out of control and possibly put me in trouble.
I was born and raised in Bien Hoa city, Vietnam. Therefore, the Vietnamese language and culture run in my blood. After graduating from high school, I, fortunately, had an opportunity to pursue my dreams- leaving my house and traveling to see the world. I began my studying abroad journey in the United States of America, where my healing journey also occurred.
I completely was lost and confused about everything, even myself. I endured self-doubts, and low self-esteem because I did not sincerely know who I truly was. Hence, the question: Who Am I? plays a crucial role in assisting us in "untangling self-doubt" (Dr. Rubin) as well as defining our self-worth, authenticity, values, and correct positions. After walking along this healing path, I finally was able to discover the mystery of self-authenticity as well as establish a stable inner space for my own sake.
I view myself as a rare and precious flower- ordinary outside but extraordinary inside. These four terms are used to describe my authentic self: Tenacious- Initiative- Enthusiastic- Nourishing. Furthermore, I value authenticity, family, a meaningful, peaceful, and happy life, wisdom, natural beauty, humanity, and integrity. It is believed that I am easy-going, open-minded, adventurous, thoughtful, and responsible but never forget to be spontaneous. Importantly, I love to laugh. Life is short, why do I need to cry and regret? I want to live like today is my last day on Earth, always love like it is my first date, and laugh uncontrollably.
It was quite a self-introduction, but I hope that you will find them helpful and enjoyable. At least, we are getting to know each other better, right?
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Timeline
Before 2018
Life of a Doll
You will not empathize with other people until you understand them. This is the reason why I share my stories; not to complain but to be vulnerable, sharing, and inspiring. My baby's worldview was simple, pure, and magical like a fairy tale- a happy family, a happily ever after dreams, etc. Until my parents decided to let greed lead the way; we all moved to a new neighborhood due to make things more convenient according to adults' rationales. Unfortunately, it turned out to be the worst idea ever. My parents drown in a submissive and workaholic situation, whereas, my brother and I were forced to survive through a living hell. I was completely lost. I suffered from both physical and mental pain; my mind was trapped in darkness and my soul was scattered all over the place. I had lived up to others' expectations and opinions. I felt disconnected from my own mind and body, as well as from other people. My life was treated as a baby doll, displayed beautifully on the shelf, but soulless inside.
2018-2021
Transformation
Did I regret studying abroad on my own? This life slapped my face, it was hurtful, but I did not loathe it, or regret this decision. Sometimes, I feel discouraged but without it, the transformation could not occur. No pain no gain! Therefore, I was so grateful for things happened the way they did.
2022-Future
Rebirth
I used to be afraid of drawing the "Death" tarot card. However, the attitude has been modified: Instead of being fearful of this natural thing, let's celebrate it! Because this is the signal of a new beginning that the universe wants to send to us. After experiencing the deadly inside myself, like a butterfly tearing up its cocoon, I was born again. The new version of me is more shiny, bubbly, confident, optimistic, relieved, and mindful of holistic self-care and respecting my authentic self. The upcoming chapter of my life will be promising because I know that I am deserved something better.
What do I want?
I remembered one time, there was a person who asked me this simple question that completely changed my whole life: "What do you want?". That question was like thunder flashed through my mind. My foggy brain suddenly lit up. Seriously! I have always been under others' shadows and trying to satisfy their wants and needs. I have never been mindful of my own desires and passions.
The ability to comprehend my authentic self helpfully deciphers my life purposes. The second question: What do I want? effectively determines the passion, vision, and inner space, as we as purposes.
Finally, I could solve the puzzle that was a massively mysterious curiosity stuck in my head for a long time. I certainly desire to become a healer who can bring healing energy into other people's lives as well as empower them to strengthen their self-healing abilities.
Overall, I only wish for a simple, peaceful, and fulfilled life along with my beloved ones. That's it!
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Why T.P.C.E.O.S. ?
Any pieces of reminiscence could vaguely appear in my mind, except for two things which were my agonizing screams and excruciating pain. My body is still filled with a tingling sensation whenever my mind flashbacks those hurtful memories.
I suffered from both physical and mental agony every single day of my teenage and young adult period. The number of tears I had was over and above the amount of laughter during that time because I was a young, frail, and vulnerable girl who did not know how to stand up for herself. For this reason, crying was the only mechanism I could use to relieve the pain. I did not live a life. Instead, I just survived based on others' needs and expectations. This fact made me feel so sorry for my younger self; moreover, frustrated! I blamed myself for imperfection as well as everything that happened in the past.
Fortunately, this life was not too merciless for me. I enigmatically was guided to begin my own healing journey. It took me many years to dissect every bit of hidden memory corners, finally, I could conceptualize and verbalize what was going on with myself; moreover, address my authentic self, and earn all my sensations, passion, vision, as well as proper cognitive functions back.
I personally have been through the process so that I can totally resonate with people who shared the same stories. Besides, I believe that there were numerous people in this society who either partially or completely endure the same misery as my past self. "A traditional yogic belief is that if we don't share our gifts we rob the world" (quoted from The Art of Flourishing- Dr. Jeffrey Rubin). Hence, my intuition urged me to be brave and confident in order to take actions-share my own stories with the purpose of inspiring people to live a healthy, peaceful, and happy life; additionally, saving them from self-doubt, self-sabotage, trauma, and negativity.
This is where T.P.C.E.O.S. was born. You are more than welcome to guess that title meant 'Tien Pham, CEO' (I am a CEO? It is very kind of you to think so!). Unfortunately, I am not a CEO. On the other hand, these six letters are an acronym for Transformation- Presence-Connection- Empathy- Optimism-Sharing which represent my core values along with the vision I anticipated this dedication would turn out.
I am not a professional healthcare provider. However, I desire to generate an informative and professional T.P.C.E.O.S. website for two reasons. First, this project will not only be a reward for my 22-year-old self, who has been determined to pursue my own healing journey without giving up or complaining, but also a personal method of practicing holistic self-care and continuously healing my mind and body. The second reason is to inspire and connect with like-minded people. I want to let the whole world know that they are not alone on this journey. We do not have the magical power to change those external factors, but we absolutely have the ability to manage and modify our attitudes and behaviors. These are the secrets to approaching a life that we yearn for. I hope that you will enjoy, support, and respect my efforts.