Blowing Off Steam

I am so frustrated with myself because I was not courageous enough to deal with my emotion. I should have done a better job to release my negative emotion instead of repressing it.

I am so disappointed in myself because I chose to keep silent and did not have the gut to speak it out loud and fight for the rightness and protect my own opinions.

I am so upset because of the failure to help myself and other people.

I felt so isolated and lonely along this journey because like a big elephant in the room, I just made things become awkward and scary to talk about.

I was fed up with the chase after others or trying to be fit into a community or this society in general. I felt belong to nowhere.

I am holding on too much information, depression and emotion which explodes my mind. I shivered shockingly, my heart beat rapidly which caused blood pressure to rocket, my palms sweated terribly, my face embarrassingly turned red, and the feeling of fear conquered my whole mind, body and spirit.

Problem- and conflict-solving is not my expertise. I have enough to deal with my own issues. I need to stop worrying so much for other problems but focus on fixing myself first. I need to breathe, calm down, and figure something out in order to release the steam. This is one of the reasons why I did not verbally communicate my thoughts frequently because it would complicate the situations and turned down the good mood and the atmosphere.